what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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