I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
