I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm getting married
To pizza
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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