Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
