Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
