if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
