Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
being pregnant is like rehab
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
