Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
