Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
