I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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