Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
