I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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