For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
