I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
