I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Where is the hickey?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
