I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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