I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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