NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
