so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
