Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
