You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
