he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He passed out mid-signature
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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