How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
