and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
