You're my little dorito
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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