i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
