Nicole vs. Life
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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