i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
