Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
