Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
