We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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