i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
