Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
