You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We need to rekindle our bromance
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
