Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
