Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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