Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
