I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
