It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
