Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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