honey bunches of taint.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
