So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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