i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
