Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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