Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
