I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
