I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
