And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
