the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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