so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
